“I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
“I blinked and I cured my brain, that's how. Because everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. Can't is the cancer of happen..”
“I’m not bi-polar, “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”
"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard. It fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this terrestrial realm. When you've got tiger blood and Adonis DNA, it's like, get with the program dude."
“Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.”
"You're dealing with a Vatican assassin. Sorry. I'm a high priest Vatican assassin warlock."
“Panicking is for amateurs and morons….Hope is for suckers and tools.”
“It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don’t have time for these clowns.”
"Whatever ... If they want me in it, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat."
“I have a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a seven-year old.”
“Oh, that. I just do that for the extra money, and to satisfy my male need to kill and win.”
"For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view."
"I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
"I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies."
"I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
...and many many more where that came from
